I’ve been ruminating on this for a while now and have finally decided to go public in the hope that I discover I am not alone.
Since going alcohol free I have lost the ability to dance…
And it’s really upsetting. I used to LOVE to dance, thought I was a natural (Natalie I can hear you laughing from here). In my first 4 years in Australia (circa 2004) I had permanent whole weekend residencies on the dancefloor (thanks Revs & Pony ?). Any wedding; only place you’d find me (apart from the bar or the loo) was on the D-floor dancing up a storm and singing myself horse to ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’.
As I matured (haha) and spent more time partying at home than at gigs and nightclubs, the lounge room became my dancefloor. After a Saturday afternoon pounding beers, more often than not it was time for Zeb’s YouTube DJ session and some serious booty shaking happening in front of the telly. I was so good I had seriously looked in to hip hop dance classes in my local area.
But then when I dried out, my ability to dance dried up. I spent hours on a rowdy girls trip to Daylesford standing on the spot bouncing my knees and bopping awkwardly from side-to-side, while those around me let loose and moved ALL their body parts with confidence. There is no more YouTube DJ sessions and anytime Violet asks to dance, it’s the same afore mentioned knee bouncing with a few twirls thrown in for good measure. I have no idea what to do with my limbs or my butt!
The big question is…
Did I ever really? Did alcohol just provide me with a false sense of security, confidence and general lack of giving a F**K that allowed me to believe what I was doing with my body was ‘good’? I am sure I used to get told ALL the time what a great dancer I was, but was that just beer-goggle induced over enthusiasm?
Or is that amazing dancer still hidden inside me, trapped by my new found booze-free inhibitions? Is it that slightly socially awkward feeling we all grapple with that is holding me back from letting loose? I have decided that this is something I need to work on and find out for myself. I’ll be dedicating a bit of time every week to closing the blinds, blasting some tunes and TRYING to let my inner dancer out. A bit of the old ‘Dance like no one’s watching’ to see if I can set my inner Beyoncé free.
How about you? Have you gone from dancefloor hero to serious wallflower territory?